How to stop caring about what people think?

Posted: June 20th, 2018

Care too much about what others think about you? Maybe you think it’s okay to care about this? After all, they know you better than you know yourself, right? In this article, we take a look at 10 reason you should stop caring about what others think about you.

Look, many of us want to be liked. It’s kinda human nature. We go to a party and we want people to like us. We start a new job and we want people to like us. Who wouldn’t want that? Who would want to be the long ranger who everyone else thinks is weird? Likeability gets you far in life. Hiring managers prefer to hire likeable people. Guys prefer to date likeable girls. Partygoers prefer to invite likeable people.

But the excessive need to be liked is very different from being likeable. We’re paraphrasing, but Abraham Lincoln once said that, hey, not everyone is going to like you. There are a lot of people out there, and the math is against you: Some people will dislike you no matter what you do. Winston Churchill said something similar: If you’re not disliked, you’re actually doing something wrong.

But the haters are not the ones you should be wanting to impress anyway. Instead, you need to focus on being yourself at all times. In so doing, the right people will come to you. Forget the rest. They will only distract you from your goals. Here are 10 tips on how to stop caring about what people think.

1. YOU face the consequences

If you care so much about what others think and do things just to impress and please them, just remember this: It’s YOU that faces the consequences, not them.

If you dyed your hair green to fit in, it’s you that will be left with the regret soon afterwards. If you said Yes to a party you knew you didn’t have the time to go to, it’s you that will be left with the regret soon afterwards. All because you gave into the need to be liked. Remember, you pick up the pieces for your mistakes in life. No one else. People can cajole you into doing something, but it’s not their life that’s at stake here. It’s yours. It’s your life, your business, and your consequences. If you stop aiming high because you’re scared people will laugh at you for trying, you will be the one left with the regret. No one else will have it.

2. Other people can make you feel really lousy

Ever taken to heart what people are saying about you? It can make you feel down, can’t it? It can also sap you of your energy. So why listen?

Another tip on how to stop caring about what people think is to realize that when you don’t care about their opinion about you, you’re letting a lot less negative energy in. The more you care about what others think about you, the more anxious and lousy you’ll feel.

3. You just can’t please everyone

Here is another tip on how to stop caring about what people think: understand that you can’t please everyone. Does pleasing everyone sound like a valiant goal? It isn’t. People-pleasers are pushovers who are usually not happy people. So unsure about how they want to live their own life, they live it on someone else’s terms. Thing is, no one can please everyone. So you might as well just focus on pleasing yourself and being happy. It’s a lot less stressful!

4. You’ll feel so much better!

When you start doing things for yourself without worrying what others might think or say about you, life becomes ten times better! All of a sudden, you feel so free to express yourself and do whatever the heck you want. It’s so liberating.

5. Only you know what is best for you

Another tip on how to stop caring about what people think is to realise that only you know what is better for you. People will try to convince you otherwise: “I know you, and I know you won’t wanna hang out with them. They’re not your crowd. You’re much better just hanging out with me.”

Hey, they might know you quite well. And sometimes, they will know what’s right for you. But you need to have your own experiences and learn from your own mistakes. Don’t let other people deny you the chance to have experiences just because they “know you” so well.

Ultimately, you know what’s best for you. You can listen to people and take their advice on board. But don’t care about what they say to the point where their thoughts decide your every decision.

6. People will respect you more

Another tip on how to stop caring about what people think about you is to realise that the right people will start to respect you more. You’re honest and live life on your own terms. And people just LOVE that.

7. People try to hold you back

You might not have realised this before, but your friends sometimes try to hold you back. Why? Because they’re scared that you’re going to outgrow them. They want to keep you at their level.

You might have already noticed how they project onto you: “I don’t think you should do that,” they tell you. “It looks tricky and you’ll probably fail.” No, actually – they’ll probably fail. When people say things like this, it’s basically because they’re thinking about themselves. Don’t listen when people tell you that you can’t do something. They’re projecting their own insecurities.

8. You’ll be left with regrets

Imagine if, in twenty years or so time, you looked back on your life today and shook your head because you cared so much about what other people thought of you that you didn’t take the chances in life you should have done?

So one of the most powerful tips on how to stop caring about what people think is to understand that caring too much about other people’s opinion stops you from making progress.

9. They’ve never walked in your shoes

Would you tell a war veteran how to think now that they’re back home from the front? Better yet, would you offer advice to a CEO on how to invest his money?

You probably wouldn’t because you’ve never walked in their shoes. Yet for whatever reason, our friends never tire of giving us advice. Unless someone has done what you’ve done and been where you’ve been, their opinion doesn’t really matter.

10. Anyone who has a lot to say about you doesn’t matter

If someone has a lot to say about you, they’re clearly a judgemental person. Why waste your time on someone who, for some reason, is more fixated on your life than their own life?

Do you have other tips on how to stop caring about what people think?


Thuy Duong Ltd, Co.

All stories by: Thuy Duong Ltd, Co.